Back to work today after a whole week off, but it wasn't for a vacation unfortunately... Last Friday my Nana went into the hospital, and when I got there to see her on Saturday, she was already gone.
It was a shock, and yet it wasn't--she had been battling breast cancer for over a year, and it just kept spreading. She was only 66 years old. It feels strange, because she seemed to be doing so well. It's scary how someone with so much life can just die. She managed to hide a lot of her pain from us, always worrying about everyone but herself. She decided she did not want to fight for her life, and after her kidneys failed, she slipped off peacefully holding the hands of her children, Laurie (my mom) and Johnny (my uncle).
I think she was truly happy and content at this point in her life, and that must have made it easier for her to be at peace with this decision, however hard it is for her loved ones. The last time I saw her was in Philadelphia, when everyone came down to visit for an early Thanksgiving dinner, just one month ago.
We had a perfect time.
The last time I talked to her was on the phone, a week earlier, and we talked for two hours. Of course, I wish I could talk to her now, there is so much I would ask. We talked about her genealogy, which I am working on and was planning to give to her as a book for Christmas. I told her how I found photos of her grandparents, and her great grandparents, and told her stories about them I found in old newspapers. She never got to see the photos but I know how happy it would have made her.
She never really knew that much about her family--when she was two years old her birth mother, Lila, passed away and she was informally adopted by another family. She was raised by them, the youngest in the family with much older siblings and parents. She didn't know she was adopted until she got married, when her sister pointed out her real last name.
She finally knew who the "pretty lady" was in the picture she carried around, a photo of her as a baby held by her mother. She always wanted to know more about her mother, and there has always been a photo of her mother (above) hanging on the wall above her favourite spot on the sofa. Years later, after being separated for 39 years, she was contacted by a long lost brother, one of four siblings from her birth family. They were each taken in by different families after being separated from their mother. She soon got to meet with her brother (below) and three sisters, together again after all that time.
My Nana was a remarkable woman, with a remarkable story. She had a hard life at times, but she was such a happy and caring person that she got through it all unscathed. She is one of my favourite people, we have always been very close, I am even her namesake--my mom loved the name Aprile. She lavished all her attention on her grandkids (me, and Carly, and newly Emma). Jory and I were married at her house last year, I spent so much time at that house as a kid it feels the most like home. She was such a special person, and talented, her and my Papa made a beautiful pair. This week I heard the story of how they met, but I'll save it for another time.
Aprile Marline Konderka 1945 - 2011
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoooo.
Posted by petra | November 8, 2011 1:14 AM
Posted on November 8, 2011 01:14
Aprile, I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your Nana had a very interesting life and left behind a legacy of very kind people. I'm sure that made her happy.
Posted by Alyce | November 8, 2011 6:56 AM
Posted on November 8, 2011 06:56
Aprile, I am so very sorry for your great loss. Sending big hugs and my sincere condolences.
Posted by kelly | November 8, 2011 12:27 PM
Posted on November 8, 2011 12:27
I'm so sorry for your loss, Aprile. x
Posted by Anabela | November 8, 2011 1:56 PM
Posted on November 8, 2011 13:56
Thanks everyone for your sweet well wishes xo
Posted by Aprile | November 10, 2011 1:32 PM
Posted on November 10, 2011 13:32
Oh Aprile, I'm sorry for your loss. A lovely tribute.
Posted by Juli | November 11, 2011 12:57 PM
Posted on November 11, 2011 12:57
Losing a grandparent is a sad part of growing up. I'm sorry this had to happen to you so soon: she sounds like a lovely woman. My condolences.
Posted by jen | November 11, 2011 12:57 PM
Posted on November 11, 2011 12:57
Beautiful images, so sorry for your loss. I hope you continue with the book, what a great way for everyone to remember her. xo
Posted by Mary Frances | November 15, 2011 1:36 PM
Posted on November 15, 2011 13:36
So sorry to hear Aprile. Such a lovely collection of photos, you captured her beautifully. xo
Posted by sarah | November 17, 2011 10:29 PM
Posted on November 17, 2011 22:29
Your grandma sounds like an incredible woman! And what an amazing story.
Her legacy will live on through you.
Posted by Jacquelyn | lark+lin | November 23, 2011 12:26 PM
Posted on November 23, 2011 12:26